Supporting Our Children Through Transitions

Whether it is the return to school after the holidays, starting at creche, introducing a new sibling into the family or moving house – changes can be really hard for young children and for us as parents. Supporting them through these transition starts with small, thoughtful steps. Here are some strategies that can help smooth transitions, making them feel a little more manageable - for everyone involved.

Preparation, preparation, preparation One of the most helpful things you can do as you approach any kind of transition with a toddler or young child. Using visual aids really helps little brains process new information. You could draw a simple series of pictures showing the new morning drop off routine, or buy, borrow or create a book about what it will be like when mama goes into have the baby. Include the parts that are going to be hard, too. When their brains can see what to expect, it’s less likely to catch them off guard and their brains and bodies would have already started preparing for this moment.

Rehearsing certain aspects of the transitions and change can be incredibly helpful preparation, for example your creche drop off routine, or feeding a new baby using a teddy. As you act out certain aspects of the change talk through what it will be like when, for example you say goodbye, and and practice how you’ll reconnect at the end of the day. You can even act it out with teddies or dolls: “Teddy feels a bit sad when he thinks about saying goodbye to his old room and moving to a new house … but look, Mummy Bear is going to make his new room feel really similar to his hold room to help him feel". This helps make the unknown more predictable and prepares their brain.

If the transition is going to mean a change to their routine, think about adjusting things slowly a week before the change happens. For example you could start gently moving towards school/creche wake-ups and bedtimes. Nothing needs to be rigid, just a gradual move toward the new rhythm of the day.

Prioritise short, consistent connection Prioritising connection in the first few weeks after a big transition can make a big difference. This doesn’t have to be for long periods of time, it can just be 10 consistent minutes each day where you put your phone away, block out other distractions, and focus fully on them.

This sends the powerful message of “I am here with you,” which can be incredibly grounding and regulating for our children, especially during times of change.

Foster open communication and emotional validation Fostering communication where your child feels heard and understood is key. If they say they are nervous or don’t want to go/move/have a new sibling, avoid brushing it off. Instead, validate their feelings and remind them gently, “You’re right, this is hard AND I know you can do hard things.” Giving them a sense of two things being able to be true at the same time early on, can really help them to fully feel and process the hard aspects of their experience and also learn to then find the resilience within to get through the challenge.

When we sit with our child in the challenge or anxiety, and also hold hope, we create a resilience-building moment. We’re not trying to take the hard away; we’re teaching them they’re not alone in it and we truly believe they have what it takes to overcome this current challenge.

Spend time outdoors Spending time outdoors during transition seasons can be incredibly helpful. Movement, nature, and open space help children regulate and release what they may not yet have words for. It can help to re-set and balance their nervous systems as well as discharge stress. Outdoor play also promotes problem-solving, social connection, and creativity - key elements that support emotional wellbeing as they head back into structured environments. Prioritising a trip to the park or a run around the garden, or creating an opportunity for them to play in sand or water can do more than we realise in helping them decompress.

Transitions are messy. They bring up feelings for everyone, stretch our patience, and often don’t go quite as planned. But that’s okay.  Give yourself permission to feel sad, worried, anxious etc.  When you practice self-compassion, your child sees this and learns from you.  With gentle preparation, open conversation, and lots of connection and compassion, your child will begin to feel safe and grounded again. And so will you.

If you feel like you need more resources or support in dealing with any aspects of your parenting journey, get in touch for a free exploration call and more information on 1-2-1 consultations.